George W. Bush hires a guest celebrity for his commercials

Link to the You Tube clip!

MASHED POTATOES!

The brand new SPINACH FOR GUNS program

Inspired by a post Jen had over at Casual Slack, I came up with our new policy for the Middle East.

The SPINACH FOR GUNS program would budget for spinach bars to be put up all over the sections of the Middle East that hostilities have been breaking out.

Why do I think this will work?

1) It will help bail out the spinach market here. Hey, they were going to throw it out anyway, right?

2) If anti-Americanism is going to happen anyway, we might as well give a place for all the “haters” to hang.

3) You can’t carry a gun, strap a bomb to yourself, or plan a terrorist attack if you are spending the day on the pot, can you? You are also not likely to be enriching Uranium either.

4) Although E. Coli can kill you, it’s not like the death rate is going to be any higher than it is now. With all that drive for revenge, they could end up battling something really worthwhile….like germs.

5) The drug companies will have a new market to sell their drugs. Bigger volume means deeper discounts. Besides, if they really want to hate us; let’s share our health care system with them and really clinch the deal.

6) I am not serious. This is sarcasm, born of frustration with the whole situation. Death is serious, and losing loved ones is very difficult. It is incomprehensible that violence can last thousands of years, and no one with a loud enough voice to say that it has to end somewhere.

I have incredibly weird dreams

Here are some weird dreams I have had:

-I have met Pete Townshend backstage after a concert to discuss music
-I have met Carlos Santana backstate after a concert to discuss music
-I have had dreams where I can see several dimensions at the same time
-I have had dreams where my dad, who died almost 20 years ago, met my children.
-I have had dreams where I was terrorized by an invisible force that cast a shadow
-I had dreams of being naked with Wilson Phillips
-I rarely dream about being late for a test in school (I hear this one is common)
-I have had dreams that I can fly, simply by willing it
-I have had dreams where I can reach into the past and retrieve objects
-I have had dreams where I have telekinetic ability
-I have had dreams where I cruise around in a limo with friends
-I have had dreams where I talk with my Grandmother, who died almost 10 years ago.
-I constantly dream about going back to college (technically, that could be a nightmare)
-I have never had dreams about cheese

Would you move into a neighborhood with this sign?

If you drove down this road, would it help if you thought about baseball?

Songs That I really like

After listening to a mix CD in my car, I felt compelled to share some of my favorite songs with my entire blog readership….which, after extensive calculations, turns out to be approximately 7 people. Thanks, and here we go.

In no particular order,

1) Shadow Of Love – The Damned
2) Do Ya Wanna Hold Me – Bow Wow Wow
3) Mercy Street – Peter Gabriel
4) More Than This – Roxy Music
5) Stay Hungry – Twisted Sister
6) stjarna – Depeche Mode
7) Cars & Girls – Prefab Sprout
This Corrosion – Sisters Of Mercy
9) All I Can Do – The Cars
10) Don’t Fear The Reaper – Blue Oyster Cult
11) Surrender – Cheap Trick
12) Flight Of Icarus – Iron Maiden
13) Jesus Built My Hotrod – Ministry
14) It’s A Sin – Pet Shop Boys
15) Avalon – Roxy Music
16) Head Games – Foreigner
17) I Don’t Mind – Bourgeois Tagg
18) Temporary Beauty – Graham Parker
19) Born To Run – Bruce Springsteen
20) Solid Rock – Goanna

That’s all I can think of right now…..I may add more later

Sept. 19th, 2006 is Talk Like A Pirate Day!

Church Of The F.S.M.’s “Talk Like A Pirate” Day info page

Results Not Typical – Truth in advertising

Maturity: wisdom achieved or simply the ability to sit still?

What exactly is maturity? Is it attained, like Nirvana, by age, time, and meditation? Is it an urban legend? Is it something you need to watch certain television shows and movies? Do you reach it through experience or talking about toileting habits with strangers in elevators? No. It is a lie.

Maturity is the ability to sit still during long meetings. You may not be physically moving, but your brain is doing cartwheels, popping from distraction to distraction, and silently cursing the lead voices forcing you to quietly listen to them. Your brain lies to your body. Sit still just one minute longer and I will get you another cup of coffee AFTER the meeting. No, you can’t have another donut. You have had three already. I don’t care if they are free. You just can’t do that. Leave some for the other people. Try to sit quietly and not click your pen. I need a slight smile, and a gentle nod of agreement. Good. We’re almost done.

If this little story is beyond your comprehension, then it’s way to late for you anyway. You were probably the one who not only scheduled the meeting, but you also brought the bagels and coffee. And worse yet, you probably scheduled the next meeting already.

Sitemeter.com vs. Blogmad.com battle for B-R-R supremacy!

Sitemeter stats for Blather-Rinse-Repeat, Sunday, Sept. 17th, 2006 4 pm EST

Average Per Day 147
Average Visit Length 0:35
Last Hour 2
Today 80
This Week 1,030

While my number of visitors has gone up tremendously, my average visit time has dropped by almost 1 1/2 minutes. Granted, spending 2 minutes on a blog isn’t all that much but it is better than 35 seconds. Before forming an opinion, let me check the facts:

-Blogmad HAS driven more people to my blog
-My readership HAS increased & I have exchanged e-mails with some new friends
-I have been told that the Blogmad demographic is fairly young
-I still like cheese yet still don’t understand its full power
-I can block blogmad pages that I don’t have an interest in seeing
-I am still strangely excited by the picture of the girl with the long tongue
-One of my blogmad visitors comment on the that picture was GROSS
-Another blogmad visitor actually wished he was a STAMP, commenting on the same pic
-No one is ultimately interested in feeding the over-privileged
-Paris Hilton has no business singing.

There is it, folks.

You can’t argue with the facts.

-sj

Another Blogmad observation

The numbers keep growing, and more people are visiting my blog. However, the average stay (in seconds) is dropping. I am not sure if it is really worth it.

I realize that my blog may not stand out all that much with a library of thousands on Blogmad, but I am really wondering about the benefit of having 25 second visits – especially at the commitment of having to view what are essentially the same blogs over and over again. The browser can even be minimized while time elapses (not that I do that or anything).

I am curious to see what other people have to say. I have found some very funny, interesting, and some outright hysterical blogs from some people there. However, I am not interested in blogs about political extremes, religion, pets/animals, bored teens, ex-boyfriends/girlfriends of complete strangers, pet/animals dressed-up in clothing, fashion, make-up tips, and trips about errands ran that day. They don’t all have to be diaries/journals, do they? How about some funny insight about something mundane? Weird pictures? Throw me a bone here, fellow bloggers!!!

Am I missing something here? Are the people who have all sorts of credit because they don’t work for a living and can click through pages, hour after hour, to rack up those points?

What about those of us who can’t surf at work? Or those who have families that can’t be tied to the computer?

Why aren’t there feature films that have a cheese slice for the main character? Why do people care about Jennifer Aniston? What would I do for a Klondike Bar? Who put the Bomp in da Bomp di-Bomp-di-Bomp? If you could lick chocolate off of a supermodel, would you choose Bosco, Hershey, or the generic brand?

I need to know.

p.s. Does my blog get taken out of the loop when I am behind in surfing credit?