poems about broccoli

Someone found my page today by looking for poems about broccoli.

 Tears began to well in my eyes at the thought.

 I think I may celebrate by eating broccoli tonight…..and perhaps I might write more poems about broccoli.

Or not.

Determining my role in gender issues

Plot summary: In December 2006, I participated in a limited discussion with women about gender inequality, violence against women, etc. I was surfing and responded to a post titled “Why I Hate Men.” After reading a fairly scathing batch of comments which reduced all men as either being directly or indirectly involved in denegrating women on a variety of levels; I felt compelled to respond. Unfortunately, the exchange didn’t seem to go anywhere beyond me feeling baited.

Recently, a woman posting under the name of Michelle commented on that post (which appeared on MY COMMENTS of my WordPress control panel). I wanted to address the issues she raises, but saw no point in getting flamed again by posting there. I apologize for the long post, but this needed to be addressed.

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Here is Michelle’s post (toned down a bit)

Screw you all. If you are all so friggin” great then DO something about the violence against women and children. Prove to us that you aren’t all psychotic (slang term for male genitalia) with entitlement issues. Prove that empathy, compassion, nurturing and respect can be acheived…the ENVIRONMENT anyone? Child pornography? Incest? Rape? Prostitution? Objectification? domestic assault? Stand up to the patriarchy…stand up to the knuckle-dragging neanderthals beside you. If you love women so much why aren’t you DOING anything about it? Knock out the guy who beats his wife…give more than 2 years to some guy who raped his children. Protest the sex-trade, pornography, female castration. Funny, I don’t see all you wonderful guys standing beside us when I am standing up for women and children.

I just don’t buy the bull#### anymore.

PROVE IT!

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I thought about my response to this for some time. This type of response, of course, puts me at the defensive and potentially makes most answers appear antagonistic. Hurl expletives and throw labels around – in other words, reflect anger back at here – , I am part of the problem. Sound condescending, I am part of the problem. Say I am not an activist for feminism, and I am part of the problem.  Try to sound supportive, and I am coddling and still part of the problem. Anyway, here goes nothing.

1) You don’t have to be a bullhorn-wielding militant, professional lobbyist, or even a high-profile celebrity to make a difference. Besides, not everyone is cut out to be an activist, in the traditional sense. People dies of brain hemorrages daily but that doesn’t mean I should become a surgeon. The truth is that I do make a difference. My wife and I are actively raising children (both genders, btw) to be capable of evaluating as well as making decisions, using fair and equitable means.  Anyone who knows me personally (as opposed to those who like to make anonymous electronic assumptions) knows how I feel about these issues. However, in trying to explain it all here, to me, seems pointless. Michelle isn’t fact-finding here. She’s angry & she’s venting.

2) My overall impression of this post later hit me. It’s a cop-out. It’s pretty much a “here, you take care of the problem” approach. The thing is, though, it’s everyone’s job.  By passing the issue to me, she doesn’t need to do anything except watch me fail at saving the world and then maybe do some more finger-pointing.  Even if I were to develop the ability to fly along with an aversion to Krytonite, I still wouldn’t be able to save the world with this or any issue, for that matter. I do what I can. It just may not be on the 6 O’Clock news. Sorry.

For all of the Michelles out there, if you are trying to change the behaviors and actions out there to get women issues recognized; I am not sure that this kind of approach is going to help. When the approach fails, it doesn’t also mean that change can’t happen; it might simply mean that it needs a different approach.

Role models are so hard to come by…..

..a weeping judge, a lawyer who blurs the personal boundaries with his client, a family estranged by hard feelings, a bodyguard who gets too involved with his client, ex-lovers catting around…all centered around an ex-waitress/ex-Playmate with erratic potentially-medication fueled behavior in the middle of several lawsuits for a variety of reasons. In the meantime, the media helps keep this centerstage circus-like entertainment, that is, when a shaved & ill-behaved Britney Spears isn’t able to be captured on film.

Like I said, role models are so hard to come by.

Muppets are being slaughtered for their pelts!

Due to the incredibly cold weather throughout the United States, people are taking drastic steps to stay warm in these record low temperatures. This includes the latest trends of slaughtering the lovable, educational, as well as furry characters for their pelts. There doesn’t seem to be a demand for Kermit The Frog or Prarie Dawn, neither of which sport fur. However, monsters like Cookie Monster, Fozzie Bear, and Oscar the Grouch could net the seller several thousands of dollars.

The Jim Henson Corporation, who also manages other characters like Bear from Bear In The Big Blue House, are also concerned for the well-being of their other fuzzy employees. They nervously monitor E-bay and other on-line auctions to see if these gentle creatures end up sold to customers trying to keep the cold at bay.

Here is a pelt believed to be Harry, the muppet who used to wear construction helmets.

Toddlers, armed with little to no medical knowledge, are taking other parts of slaughtered Muppets and ingesting them in hopes of acquiring knowledge of letters and numbers WITHOUT having to learn them.

Parents and educators everywhere are worried. They have aligned themselves with P.E.T.A. to form a splinter group to break into Public Broadcasting Stations to release Muppets from their cages. It has also been recently discovered that Muppets have been used in the cosmetic industry to test the toxicity of make-up and other beauty products. Representatives for Maybelline refused to comment.

Two days off from work?!?!

This is my second day off from work!! It seems the Bad Weather Gods, as well as the Water Main Break Gods are angry!!

Luckily, the Day Off From Work Gods are happy so I will go with that.

This is what it’s like on my street.

School closings take on an ecumenical dimension

Many school in our area have closed for Feb. 14th, 2007 – while the screenshot below announces a closing of a private school in the WNEP Channel 16 viewing area, I can’t help but think of the spiritual implications with this message.

Now this is comedy at its finest!

I saw Mrs. Doubtfire hang with Prince Charles

I think it’s cool that Mrs. Doubtfire is chillin’ with Prince Charles. Maybe it means there’s a sequel coming.

Cool.

I wonder if the Prince knows it’s really Robin Williams under all that make-up.

Julie Sidoni likes fried bologna sandwiches

During the morning weather broadcast for WNEP Channel 16 this week, Joe Snedeker and Julie Sidoni were discussing friend bologna sandwiches and she told Joe she likes them.

Looks like Julie Sidoni fans have at least one gift idea for her birthday in early March.

Nation’s levels of music samples now at critical levels

           In the face of the global warming crisis, our nation faces yet another shortage that threatens our existence. A recent government study about to be released will show national levels of music sampling and pre-recorded dance beats have dropped to critical levels. Some music artists are expressing concerns about their future ability to ‘rock da house.’

(this Casio keyboard was unavailable for comment)

           Scientists have been monitoring these levels since the 1970s, when a good portion of these music samples were taken from. While not an renewable source of popularity, the supply had been ample until the demand that artists like P. Diddy, Dr. Dre, and Public Enemy tapped into them. Pre-recorded dance beats, as featured in $20 Casio keyboards used in Elementary Schools nationwide, have only recently seen their reserves drop with the growing popularity of the band Black Eyed Peas.

A visibly shaken Fergie

                  When P. Diddy, or whatever his name is at the moment, was asked for his thoughts about the issue; one of the members of his extensive entourage explained that whats-his-face’s career could come to a crashing halt if everyone else stops making music. He also explained that he has no idea how the unregistered gun appeared in the SUV when they were pulled over several years ago.

                      Fergie, of Black Eyed Peas, said that she might have to teach her “lovely lady lumps” to actually learn how to play a instrument if the pre-recorded dance beat drought continues. She’s not sure how “Fergie-licious” their music would be if they exclusively had to fall back on their trite lyrics by themselves.

               Dr. Dre offered some words, but they had to be edited out because of their adult content. Flava Flav was also available for comment,too. However, no one is really sure what he actually said. We’re pretty sure he expressed concern, boyyyeeeeeeeee.

Huh?

                      Scientists did suggest sampling conservation, but doubted such damaging effects done could be easily reversed. It could be several decades before today’s current sampling artists have faded sufficiently from the collective memories. Until then, they suggested listening to bands that actually played their own music OR used studio musicians and not just sound engineers.

Not that it’s really cold here, but….

….the weather forecasts read as follows: