Both my sons today learned how to ride their bikes today. This rite of passage has been something that my wife and I have been working on for a long time. It’s one of those things that we think is an important skill to know. It ranks up there with learning how to swim (which both boys know how to do, too).

     Once they become more experienced riders, their worlds will open up and they will be able to experience more freedom, along with get even more exercise, and give us more options of things to do while vacationing in Chincoteague, VA.

     Today is a big day. Go write that down.

  Having recently just gotten back from a long weekend camping at Locust Lake with my family, I feel compelled to share my opinion of such “whippersnapper” behavior – if only in a curmudgeon-in-training sort of way.

1) Treating Department Of Resources Employees like maids. They have enough to do managing the National Park system rather than pick up your messes. If you break some glass, that’s fine – just pick it up.

2) Using lanterns that have a SOLAR FLARE setting, especially at night. People who enjoy camping are typically there to enjoy nature. We like sitting in the dark, looking at the stars over a campfire. We didn’t put the time and effort into all of this – just to have our retinas baked out of our skulls by some dorks with universe-ending blast of light from the neighbors’ campsite. Sharing is good, but not with this.

3) Walking through other peoples’ campsites. Camping is a friendly, social affair but boundaries are good to. Be considerate of your neighbors. If you feel compelled to overstep the line here, please remember these three words: Malaysian Tiger Trap.

4)  Burning things other than wood in your campfire. Let me save you some book learnin’ here. Throwing non-flammable man-made things into a fire will either give off harmful chemicals, taint the food you may later cook on that fire, or harm the animal life still living in that forest after you go. Leaving food will invite critters. Small critters may not be harmful, but large critters are. If you want to be lower on the food chain, go somewhere else please. Volunteer as lion bait at the closest zoo or something. Here’s another science tip. Don’t play with lighter fluid around open flames. You’re not going to impress anyone having Charles Darwin on speed dial. Even fewer will be impressed when you torch the park after uttering the phrase, “Hey guys, check this out!”

5) Leave the perfume/heavy scents at home.  If you’re that high maintenance that you can’t walk away from hair care or personal care products for a few days, camping may not be for you. The discerning camping nose avoids such aromas because it becomes a magnet for bugs and mosquitos. Save the swanky aromas for your next bar-hopping jaunt.

1. Where is your cell phone?
GONE

2. Relationship?
Hot

3. Your hair?
Grey

4. Work?
yawn

5. Your sister?
huh?

6. Your favorite thing?
books

7. Your dream last night?
weird

8. Your favorite drink?
coffee (sorry, it’s not monosyllabic)

9. Your dream car?
Blue

10. The room you’re in?
quiet

11. Your shoes?
off

12. Your fears?
Government (sorry, it’s not monosyllabic)

13. What do you want to be in 10 years?
rich

14. Who did you hang out with this weekend?
FAMILY (sorry, it’s not monosyllabic)

15. What you’re not good at?
fibs

16. Muffin?
berry

17. One of your wish list items?
TRAVEL

18. Where you grew up?
COLLEGE

19. The last thing you did?
eat

20. What are you wearing?
shorts

21. What aren’t you wearing?
shoes

22. Your pet?
annoying (sorry, it’s not monosyllabic)

23. Your computer?
on

24. Your life?
fine

25. Your mood?
wired

26. Missing?
Hoffa (sorry, not only is it not monosyllabic – it’s funny)

27. What are you thinking about right now?
chicks

28. Your car?
runs

29. Your kitchen?
mess

30. Your summer?
cool

31. Your favorite color?
BLUE

32. When is the last time you laughed?
now

33. Last time you cried?
unsure (sorry, it’s not monosyllabic)

34. School?
more?

35. Love?
Wife

1)  Having college roommates who didn’t pick up after themselves. Clothing left all over the floors. Dirty dishes left in the sink. Toilet occasionally flushed. Looking back, it’s all strangely prophetic. The neat thing is that my kids are way cooler than that roommate back then.

2) Being a summer camp counselor. Leading a group of kids around. Making sure everyone was accounted for at all times, dressed appropriately for the weather, fed on time and got to bed at a reasonable hour. I also had practice trying to stay on schedule. My personal time would be the few waking moments left before I fell asleep on my mattress at bedtime.

3) The week of finals at college each year. Staying up really late and making like what seemed to be important decisions between midnight and 6 a.m. Oh, eating at weird hours, too.

4) Studying a foreign language.  By learning how other languages are structured, you have a better chance of getting the context of what was said….except with the added dimensions of with mouthfuls of food or between massive sobs after skinned knees.

5) Raising puppies. Clothing and furniture gets destroyed, toys get left out and restroom boundaries are somewhat tenuous for a while. They also sit their confused while you try to explain things to them. I guess the good news is that they don’t roll their eyes.  Anyway, while I have developed a lot of patience with my children, the only dogs I ever really liked are served at baseball games with chopped onions and ketchup.

 I am going to build shelves in the basement. It will require  operating a circular saw, hammer and possibly a drill. I have one of those leather belts that I can put stuff in.

  To top off the day, I may just have to have a cold beer and demand a potpie for dinner. If there is time later, I probably should squander a natural resource.

  Do something nice for your Mom today! Make her breakfast! Take her to dinner! Give her a piggyback ride around the living room! Make it a point to NOT buy her a Celine Dion album. Show her you care!

5) The  ability to recognize their strengths, assess their weaknesses and act accordingly. Confident enough to be independent but not pompous enough to believe they are flawless.

4) Enough spirituality to experience divine power in their own way that makes sense. Being able to see the big picture is the best way to get perspective on most things.

3) that they find someone to share their lives with who can celebrate them for who they are, and at the same time, help them reach their potential.

2) enough math skills and enough curiosity to read the fine print on any contractual agreement to help them learn that things don’t always appear what they seem.  

1) a good sense of humor, both for coping with rough times as well as celebrate it for the divine gift it is.

1) It’s conveniently located right next to Route 81

2) It’s pronounced STAN-ton.

3) Gypsy Hill park, located in historic Staunton, was once a place where actual gypsies lived. It is now a massive park with 2 playgrounds, duck pond, walking path, baseball fields, and a train.

4) the band NTENSE which played at the hotel lounge featured 80’s music as well as at least one guitarist with a mullet.

5) we could listen to the band play while we swam in the indoor pool of the hotel.

6) They over-chlorinated the pool that my vision was cloudy for 1 day.

7) Staunton, VA is only about a 45 minute drive from Charlottesville, VA – which is home to Thomas Jefferson’s former abode – Monticello.

8 ) Monticello translates into “not very much parking”

Here, my daughter poses on her new “big girl bed.” Not only did she upgrade from a toddler bed, she now has DISNEY PRINCESS SHEETS. This combination of new bed and new sheets puts my daughter’s excitement level approximately that of a gameshow contestant. 

Please note that the loft resides in what used to be a narrow closet. Daddy had to remove a section of wall to expand her room to hold this wooden monstrosity. Daddy would also like to point out that Mommy had a big role in designing and planning the necessary equipment for this project. Thank you, Mommy.

How many of you have been asked to leave Argentina for running around your hotel naked?