1) A Sense Of Humor – There is a time to be serious and get down to work, but being able to laugh is important too. You don’t necessarily need to be a prankster, but don’t take everything seriously.

2) Know the difference between venting and complaining – Sure. Everyone has their bad days. Things don’t always go smoothly. Let people know you’re having a bad day, then try to move on. Don’t become the human dark cloud who then evolves into a psychic vampire and drains the life and enthusiasm for being there. If things get that bad, dude; quit. If you are reading the classified during your lunch hour; it might be time to move on.

3) Flexible – Things don’t happen when they need to, nor does the equipment work the way it’s supposed to all the time. Figure out work arounds. Don’t go postal.

4) Be willing to help out where it’s needed – Don’t be the person who will literally only do the things specifically listed on your job description. Especially if you work in a small office, being willing to help others can go along way.

5) Beware of the psychological condition of TRANSFERENCE – If you just ended a customer call after getting your face ripped off because they didn’t get their way; don’t take it out on anyone.  Empower yourself.  Learn what you can and can’t do, then only worry about the stuff you can change. If a customer tries to rip you a new one, tell them you’re willing to help but not be abused. Be willing to help, but not willing to be a pariah for all the evils ever befallen from them in the past. Oh, and don’t go blaming the person or group who handled the issue before. Bad karma, otherwise.

Bonus trait: practice decent personal hygiene. Co-workers are willing to cut you some slack for the occasional broccoli in the teeth thing after lunch. Bad coffee breath is possible to cope with for brief periods. I am talking the shower/bath thing. Clean off. Use deoderant or other anti-stink technology.

     I managed to get a copy of a poll taken by People Magazine who recently asked it’s readers what the new 7 Wonders Of The World should be. Here is the list! Look for it next month.

1) Paris Hilton

2) Lindsay Lohan

3) Nicole Ritchie

4) Summer Salads at McDonald’s

5) Cable Television

Please reach out to those filling out the People Magazine poll. Their researchers had difficulty finding people subscribed to their magazine who could count to seven.

1. Where is your cell phone?
GONE

2. Relationship?
Hot

3. Your hair?
Grey

4. Work?
yawn

5. Your sister?
huh?

6. Your favorite thing?
books

7. Your dream last night?
weird

8. Your favorite drink?
coffee (sorry, it’s not monosyllabic)

9. Your dream car?
Blue

10. The room you’re in?
quiet

11. Your shoes?
off

12. Your fears?
Government (sorry, it’s not monosyllabic)

13. What do you want to be in 10 years?
rich

14. Who did you hang out with this weekend?
FAMILY (sorry, it’s not monosyllabic)

15. What you’re not good at?
fibs

16. Muffin?
berry

17. One of your wish list items?
TRAVEL

18. Where you grew up?
COLLEGE

19. The last thing you did?
eat

20. What are you wearing?
shorts

21. What aren’t you wearing?
shoes

22. Your pet?
annoying (sorry, it’s not monosyllabic)

23. Your computer?
on

24. Your life?
fine

25. Your mood?
wired

26. Missing?
Hoffa (sorry, not only is it not monosyllabic – it’s funny)

27. What are you thinking about right now?
chicks

28. Your car?
runs

29. Your kitchen?
mess

30. Your summer?
cool

31. Your favorite color?
BLUE

32. When is the last time you laughed?
now

33. Last time you cried?
unsure (sorry, it’s not monosyllabic)

34. School?
more?

35. Love?
Wife

It’s important to have: 

13) curiosity – I like people who don’t take everything at face value.

12) vulnerability - Acting as if one is perfect is not only annoying, it increases the likelihood of crucifixion (whether or not the perfection is real or not)

11) an appreciation for those around you – Being capable of saying please, thank you, and you’re welcome means more than most realize. Treating everyone as if they are beneath you is annoying, even if you are royalty.

10) honesty – You can’t build trust without it. However, if your friend Bubba says he was abducted by aliens; cut him some slack, o.k.?

9) flexibility – No matter how well you plan, sometimes you still have to go to PLAN B…..or C…..maybe D and occassionally PLAN E.

8 ) hope – Everything may happen for a reason, but that doesn’t mean we’ll always know why. Face it, none of us may ever understand why Donald Trump does that comb-over thing.

7) The Car’s first album, The Cars (self-titled). It seriously rocks out.

6) a plan – Whether you are going to rule the world or just be a slacker…..try to be the BEST slacker you can be.

5) a hobby/interest/passion – It’s part of having an internal life that differentiates us from houseplants.

4) a willingness to always learn – Life is a journey, not a destination….just make sure you sit next to cool people on the bus.

3) empathy – Being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes is a sign of higher brain function

2) a sense of humor – I wouldn’t want my reality to leave home without it. One of the best coping skills….ever.

1) your own identity – Trying to be like others gets really hard when you’re by yourself. If you aren’t going to be you; who is?

***edit***
This post won Post Of The Day! Thank you!

1) People with no sense of humor -  How could we be put on this planet and expected to take Paris Hilton or Donald Trump’s hair seriously?

2) Laugh Tracks – Shouldn’t the fact that you need to show people when to laugh during a show you’ve written tell you about its quality of writing?

3) High-pressure salespeople – psychological manipulation of people to purchase something from you is wrong. Let’s just leave this to the campaign professionals, shall we?

4) Accordians – Need proof that this infernal instrument is truly evil? Polka music!

5) People who confuse opinion for fact.

6) The phrase “results not typical” – if results are not typical, why even bother to tell me? Your product or service either works or doesn’t work. Pick one.

7) Supermodels who get defensive about their careers – Just because the genetic lottery allows you to make ungodly amounts of cash by having ability to walk around in a bathing suits in exotic locations; please don’t confuse that with contributing to society. It doesn’t matter if you get a talkshow or your own line of clothing. 20 years from now,you’ll be hocking skin care products on a 3 a.m. info-mercials making a career based exclusively on what you used to look like. Big whooptie do.

8 ) Customer Service Signs – If someone is going to take the time to hang them, you’d think that they’d make arrangements for it to occur underneath it once it’s installed.

9) Too much perfume or cologne – I am all for people having scents other than B.O., but please apply some common sense here. You want that special person to remember your scent, not because your aroma caused them to be admitted into a hospital for damaged lungs.

10) Telemarketers – Who came up with the idea of scripted phone harassment as a career?

11) Reality television – My initial indifference to reality television is solidifying into fear at the thought that people are little more than attention-seeking idiots.

12) Lack of accountability – do legal disclaimers need to be printed on every conceivable item? Wouldn’t it better to just let Natural Selection take its course and genetically filter out stupid people. That would clear up all sorts of problems like daytime television guests, straight-ticket voters, workloads of lawyers with 800 numbers, and people who treat lawsuits like a source of income.

13) Fake creamers – Flavoring your coffee with something created in a chem lab is a crime  against nature.

Inspired by a conversation about phone actresses at the Brass Tap, I bring you yet another Blather-Rinse-Repeat exclusive Top 10 List.

10) “That’s just sick.”

9) “Please tell me you’re in therapy.”

8 ) “What am I wearing? I don’t know. Pants. A shirt. Shoes.”

7) “Oh, yeah. I am hot. Really. Anonymous strangers telling me that they are turned on by women dressed in private school uniforms. I’m burnin’ up.”

6) “I’ve got a bad case of stomach cramps, so even if I just set the phone down; just keep talking.”

5) “Sorry, Reverend. We charge everyone full price.”

4) “Did I really need to know THAT?!?!?”

3) “No, I don’t have a webcam. Who wants to see a grown woman eat a bowl of ice cream? Are you THAT kinky?”

2) “You think THAT’S embarrassing. Try doing this for a living so much that the one time your Grandmother calls, you tell her you have to charge $2.99 a minute to talk to you.”

1) “What’s this about wanting me to pretend I’m Kari Byron and tell you I’m wearing nothing but silver body paint?!?!“

1) Would you bungee jump?
Nope.

2) If you could do anything in the world for a living
what would it be?
Professional Bra fitter.

3) Your favorite fictional animal?
Whatever one P.E.T.A. would find the most offensive.

4) One person who never fails to make you laugh?
that would be ME.

5) When you were 12 years old, what did you want to be when you
grew up?
superhero.

6) What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?
“Is it Saturday yet?”

7)  Have you ever gone to therapy?
     Yes, but they never seemed to give me any good meds.

8 ) If you could have one superpower what would it be?
telekinesis.

9) What is your favorite cartoon character?
Underdog.

10) Do you go to church?
Technically, if God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent; the question to ask here is do I really need to go to church to reach Him?

11) What is your best childhood memory?
Singing in the car with my family while we traveled.

12) Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
I really like it.

13) Do you own a gun?
double-barrel shotgun, disassembled and sitting on a high shelf. I used to take it hunting with my father.

14) Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
Of course! (Hey, what are you doing later?!?! (wink, wink))

15) Have you ever sung in front of a large group of people?
Yes, kareoke rocks!

16) What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Those nice, big round things up front…..yeah, their eyes.

17) What is your biggest mistake?
That impulse buy of a Chevy S-10 truck many years ago.

18) Say something totally random about yourself.
I miss playing the tuba.

19) Has anyone ever said that you looked like a celebrity?
I have been told that I look like Bill Clinton and Richard Moll (Bull, from Night Court)

20) What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex
has done for you?
my wife has made me many romantic dinners…served inwith a very elaborate outfit. I am afraid my gentlemanly quality of discretion prevents me from sharing what it was or what happened during that evening.

21) Do you actually read these when other people fill them out?
Some do, I guess.

I tag all that wish to be tagged….copy this list, paste it to your blog, and link back here.

You know you want to.

-sj

Inspired by Babs over at How To Go Insane…..a list I wanted to add to…

1. Paying attention in science class could come in handy when trying to figure out how to kill zombies. Here’s where making fun of nerds could also work against you.

2. When running from zombies, try using a shoe with a sensible heel. Sneakers are the time-tested favorite here. Heels, while sexy, just make you zombie bait. Function, rather than comfortability, are what you should be looking for in a zombie-avoidance shoe.

3. Zombies don’t make good employees. They do not have fine motor skill development and tend to eat coworkers.

4. You might want to own a machete.

5. Pay close attention to the soundtrack. When you hear scary music, avoid taking a shower..isolating yourself from peers…getting naked…or trying on high heels.

6. Understanding what fuels zombie hatred could help you defeat them. Tell them you voted for Bush in the last election and they should leave you alone.

7. When running away from a zombie, you’re more likely to escape if you don’t stop every 3 steps to turn around to see if they are still following you. Trust me, they are. They are zombies. It’s not like they have to dentist appointments.

8. There is really anything like crucifixes to hold zombies at bay. Torches won’t work if you are completely surrounded, and it’s not like you tell them to go home at wait for the cable guy because he will be there between 1 – 5 pm.

9. Zombies are usually pretty stupid. If you call them at home and ask them if their refrigerator is running, they usually fall for it.

10. If you are suddenly surrounded by zombies, ask yourself “is this real or am I in a movie with Adrienne Barbeau?”

11. On the off-chance that you do become a zombie, see if the undead have a cable channel that offers brain recipes presented by the undead version of Rachel Ray. If not, there is already reality television to keep your zombie brain busy.

Jen @ CasualSlack had this posted…which she got from another blog….I will have to find the link later….

Anyway….

FOUR REAL JOBS YOU HAD
1. Summer Camp Counselor
2. Fast food worker
3. Host @ Denny’s Restaurant
4. Hazardous Waste Chemical technician (yes, I am serious)

FOUR FICTIONAL JOBS YOU WISH YOU HAD
1. someone telekinetic
2. witch (like Samantha Stevens)
3. Spiderman
4. reality advisor for George W. Bush

FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN

1. The Elephant Man
2. Braveheart
3. Dave
4. Anything with Kate Beckinsale in it

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH

1. C.S.I. Las Vegas
2. Numb3rs
3. Dexter (Showtime)
4. a few things on the Sci-Fi channel

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS

1. Pizza
2. Porkchops & applesauce
3. coffee
4. coconut cream pie

FOUR THINGS YOU WON’T EAT

1. Lima beans
2. mincemeat pie
3. liver & onions
4. sea urchin (other sushi is fine, but this stuff is horrible)

FOUR THINGS IN YOUR ROOM

1. small tv
2. lots of books
3. dress clothes
4. a small dog cage

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU HAD IN YOUR BEDROOM

1. walk-in closet
2. fireplace
3. new king-size bed
4. a small army of leggy supermodels (yes, I am married but my wife said they could stay if they help with the housework)

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW

1. sweatshirt
2. jeans
3. a pentacle
4. mostly white socks

FOUR PLACES I’D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW

1. Chincoteague, VA
2. first place of having received the largest POWERBALL ticket ever!
3. sleeping in
4. someplace where it doesn’t snow at all.

FOUR FICTIONAL PLACES I’D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. Hogwarts
2. Next door to the Araboolies of Liberty Street (kid’s book)
3. the Wonka Factory
4. that place where Simon created things with a purple crayon

FOUR FICTIONAL PEOPLE YOU’D LIKE TO HAVE DINNER WITH

1. Lane Meyer (movie, Better Off Dead)
2. Willy Wonka
3. The Mayfaire witches (Anne Rice’s series)
4. Dumbledore (main wizard of Hogwart’s)

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Looks like if you blog about Julie Sidoni, Kari Byron, or Angel Boris; you get some serious traffic. I am not sure where “Juicy Jenny” fits into all of this, however.