A dress code is posted on the door of The Famous (Pottsville, PA bar)

A simple sign that reads:

1) Baseball hats must be worn facing forward

2) No bandanas

3) Pull up your pants

Wouldn’t it be easier to say “No Vanilla Ice Fans?”

Top 10 rejected slogans for the Ambien sleeping pill

10) America’s new Ropinol
9) Momma’s BIG helper
8 ) You’ll know why you can’t remember where you parked your car
7) Where am I? Who are you?
6) I’m NOT lovin’ it…at least, I don’t remember lovin’ it.
5) We’ll help you be more productive…whether you know it or not.
4) Your legal alibi…in easy-to-swallow pill form
3) What other pill can claim that it will help you clean out your refrigerator overnight?
2) I don’t remember meeting Jack Abramoff. Really.
1) The medicine that the insurance industry is afraid of

The top 100 sci-fi books

Top 100 sci-fi books

I have read most of these authors, if not these books. Looks like I have about 85 more reasons to go to the library soon.

The Best Selling Childrens’ Books Of All Time

The Best Selling Childrens’ Books Of All Time

29. The Catcher in the Rye, J. D. Salinger (1951)

I have read this book. I have reread this book. I have read many of the other books on the list. I can’t believe this made this list. However, I also can’t believe that Shel Silverstein escaped this list. I can possibly understand the Beverly Cleary series of “Ramona The Pest” not making it, although I still remember reading that from my younger days.

If they are talking children’s books, I think that they also need to include the earlier childhood stuff, too. “When You Give A Mouse A Cookie” is a great book. It has that classic circular storyline that kids love. “The Araboolies Of Liberty Street” is a fun book, too. While this book may also be targeting the kindergarten set, it is still a fun book about the consequences of conformity.

I am not sure why “Catcher In The Rye” made it. I don’t really remember anything profound or remarkable about it. I remember not being impressed as a high schooler when I first read it. I have a feeling that many books like this have snuck onto ‘classic book titles’ for no obvious reason. There are some that even think that Shakespeare is some form of entertainment, too.

Top 10 Excuses Isaac Mizrahi gave for groping Scarlett Johansson

fashion designer Isaac Mizrahi cops a feel during the 63rd Annual Golden Globe Awards.

10) “The PATRIOT ACT authorizes me to conduct searches. Unfortunately, the document I have as proof of that is classified.”

9) “Since I am not eligible to win a Golden Globe, I decided to grab a different globe.”

“I was feeling light-headed, and was about to pass out. I grabbed the closest thing I could so I wouldn’t fall.”

7) “I was reaching out to make sure she wasn’t in my personal space, and I must have been too close.”

6) “Someone said she has smuggled a recording device in her dress, and you know how picky the RIAA can be with copywrites and stuff.”

5) “You have heard of the Wonder Bra?!? I was just testing out that latest in boob support technology: the Wonder Hand!! (as in I WONDER if she will press charges)

4) “After seeing her, I wanted to hold more than a press conference.”

3) “Being a nature lover, I wanted to release them from captivity and let them back in the wild.”

2) “Those freaks at www.IfeltupScarlettJohansson.com said they would pay me $1,000 if I did that.”

1) “I really wanted her autograph, and since I didn’t have my pen on me. I checked to see if SHE had one.”

stjarna’s wish list

1) A subscription to the Allentown Newspaper, The Morning Call

2) An IDE to USB cable adapter from Cables2go.com

3) An adapter that would read laptop hard drives from Cables2go.com

4) Julie Sidoni’s autograph

5) $10,000 in a bank account in my name

6) A new computer with a kickbutt processor and loads of RAM

7) to lose 40 lbs.

a newer car

9) lots of Buffalo wings and perhaps some ice cold Coronas

10) more people to read my blog

11) to write a short story by the end of this year

12) to post my genealogy research on-line for my family members

13) eat more mozzarella cheese

14) to come up with less lame posts for my blog

-sj

Things Scott McClellan probably wouldn’t say about the Dick Cheney Hunting accident

“Mister Whittington has been declared an “enemy combatant,” so everything’s o.k. now. He’s being isolated from his lawyers as we speak.”

“Harry is doing much better. Even in intensive care, he said that hunting with Dick is still a blast.”

“The only reason we waited 22 hours is because the press found out what had happened from the owner of the hunting property, and we couldn’t hide it any longer.”

“Taking all those heart medications really clouds Mr. Cheney’s judgement sometimes.”

“Dick Cheney admits to taking the shot, and promises that an investigation into how and why it happened. He also promises not to neglect the findings of that committee until well after the group releases it report.”

“Dick admits to being on-edge about this Valerie Plame thing and the possibility of losing his office.”

“After spending all day watching a Barney Fife movie marathon, Mr. Cheney wanted to see if they put real bullets in HIS gun.”

Top 10 Surprises waiting for us in the last Harry Potter book

10) Hogwarts test scores go up after LEAVE NO WIZARD BEHIND legislation passes
9) Death Eaters refuse to give back gifts after being linked to Abramoff
Half-Blood Prince asks to now be referenced by a unpronounceable symbol
7) Muggles are allowed to unionize at the local Wal*Mart
6) Voldemort meets Dick Cheney at the annual family reunion
5) Hermione enlists the ACLU in her fight for the rights of House Elves
4) Alberto Gonzales is the new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher
3) Federal workers replace private security firms for searching people before they apparate
2) Congress to investigate the use of Dementors at Guantanamo Bay
1) 4 Remaining horcruxes turn up on E-bay

Top 7 ideas that are better than giving the U.N. control of the Internet

7) Drinking the whole bottle of cough syrup and operate heavy machinery
6) Listening to a Celine Dion album without any form of sedation
5) Watching infomercials
4) Go to a Grateful Dead concert and tell everyone you see that you are an undercover cop
3) Believe that voting Republican or Democrat actually makes a difference
2) During the next Presidential visit in your area, run towards the President holding a capgun
1) Start every sentence with “As far as Jennifer Aniston is concerned….”

There are 11 Joe Mama’s listed with zabasearch.com

I didn’t realize there were so many. Most of them probably get their names legally changed after appearing in high school yearbooks all over the country.