I figured out how to make NASCAR more exciting

       Instead of having qualifying rounds to see who gets what position in the line-up, count off by twos and have half the drivers go the opposite direction. Although most of the excitement would happen in the first lap with all the explosions, anyone who survives would then need to dodge the wrecked vehicles to finish the race.

      It’s be the 21st century of jousting, but at speed approaching 200 m.p.h.

Car Insurance Tip for those attacked by Transformers

   Having once sold insurance over the phone at one of those national insurance companies, I have some information you can take back to your licensed insurance agent in case your vehicle is destroyed by Transformers.

    The insurance claims adjuster will probably count the damage under the COMPREHENSIVE coverage. Also known as OTHER THAN COLLISION, this insurance protection protects you from any physical damage cause by something other than hitting another vehicle or object. You will be responsible for paying your insurance deductible (unless you think your insurance company will be able to subrogate against the TRANSFORMER’S insurance company).  It’s entirely possible that your insurance company will pay out under the UNINSURED/UNDERINSURED MOTORISTS coverage as the TRANSFORMER is probably not carrying insurance.

        After that, you will get the ACTUAL CASH VALUE of the car.  It’s not what you PAID for the car; it’s not how much you still OWN on the car. It’s what the car’s trade-in value. Good luck with that.

p.s. Please note that I am no longer licensed in any state to advise or suggest insurance coverages nor am I sponsored by any property and casualty company. Please direct any questions you have to your personal, state licensed insurance agent. Check your yellow pages or contact the Department Of Insurance in your state for more information. Thank you.

The New 7 Wonders Of The World (per People Magazine)

     I managed to get a copy of a poll taken by People Magazine who recently asked it’s readers what the new 7 Wonders Of The World should be. Here is the list! Look for it next month.

1) Paris Hilton

2) Lindsay Lohan

3) Nicole Ritchie

4) Summer Salads at McDonald’s

5) Cable Television

Please reach out to those filling out the People Magazine poll. Their researchers had difficulty finding people subscribed to their magazine who could count to seven.

5 traits I find incredibly attractive in a woman

1) A sense of humor – Stoicism is not hot, even if it’s wearing something skimpy. Sorry, life is way to short to take seriously. NEXT!

2) Curiosity – The ability and interest in thinking about why things happen. Letting life just happen to you gets really old quick.

3) Imagination – The ability to think creatively. This goes really well with #1.  Having a good imagination pretty much counts as a coping skill, which is good to have anyway.

4) The ability to emote – Knowing how to identify the feeling and knowing what to do with it. It may take time for labels to  happen, but being able to do this makes things even cooler.

5) Confidence – You don’t need to know exactly what you want, but having a good idea helps. Knowing what you like and what you don’t like is a great start. I think it comes from being comfortable in your own skin….your own world. Knowing how to emphasize your strengths and minimize your weaknesses is a skill that everyone should have. Challenging yourself to try new things also helps. Staying home to do nothing except watch tv gets old fast too.

Side note: My wife is 5/5 on this one, for those who are curious.

I had 811 visitors today!

Blather Rinse Repeat had a lot of people stop by on Flag Day.

I also realized that my blog will turn two years old in about a week or so.

Quietly reminiscing…….I remember what it was like before people could blog. When I was your age, I had call people on big metal dial telephones to tell the world my sometimes completely meaningless viewpoints. Now I can inflict my opinion on several hundred people a day with one blog post.

I am also old enough to remember when it was YEARS between Paris Hilton updates….and when DUIs were considered dangerously illegal instead of career moves.

5 skills to master in life

1) Balance – Everything in the universe works towards maintaining equilibrium. Things also tend to be dynamic, rather than static. Equilibrium can be reached, but it’s not a permanent destination. Being able to find out what it takes for you to reach equilibrium with everything is the way to go. Hint: sometimes all it takes is having the right perspective to see the way towards equilibrium.

2) Learning – This doesn’t mean institutions to obtain degrees. It’s the willingness to be open to new ideas and incorporate old ones. Once again, it’s a journey – not a destination.

2) Energy Management – If you think of all the influences in your life as energy, it becomes clearer on how to manage them. The main example of energy most people probably think of is electricity. It is a force. You can’t see it, but you can see what it can do for you. It can be used to run everything from reading lights to running machines. However, if you don’t handle it properly; it can kill or injure you.  Energy cannot be created or destroyed. It simply changes forms. This even applies to personal energy. Holding onto anger, pain, fear and a whole range of other negative emotions is normal & takes energy. However,  not ultimately letting them go at some point can lead to problems.

4) Nurturing – Being able to expend energy to take care of someone else can help build a sense of empathy (an important trait to have) toward others.  It’s very natural, perhaps even genetic. However, it should not be a permanent state (see: balance). Living to serve only others is not healthy. You want to be able to see the whole picture of how everything works together, which includes each of us. We all have a part in the universe.

5) Discernment – Being able to see patterns and tell things apart is important. It applies to not only being able to recognize things in new situations, but also to be able to see the different levels of interaction. People have their own agendas. Some are obvious. Some are not. Being aware that you aren’t being manipulated or tricked can be an important skill too.

5 life experiences that ultimately helped me understand parenting

1)  Having college roommates who didn’t pick up after themselves. Clothing left all over the floors. Dirty dishes left in the sink. Toilet occasionally flushed. Looking back, it’s all strangely prophetic. The neat thing is that my kids are way cooler than that roommate back then.

2) Being a summer camp counselor. Leading a group of kids around. Making sure everyone was accounted for at all times, dressed appropriately for the weather, fed on time and got to bed at a reasonable hour. I also had practice trying to stay on schedule. My personal time would be the few waking moments left before I fell asleep on my mattress at bedtime.

3) The week of finals at college each year. Staying up really late and making like what seemed to be important decisions between midnight and 6 a.m. Oh, eating at weird hours, too.

4) Studying a foreign language.  By learning how other languages are structured, you have a better chance of getting the context of what was said….except with the added dimensions of with mouthfuls of food or between massive sobs after skinned knees.

5) Raising puppies. Clothing and furniture gets destroyed, toys get left out and restroom boundaries are somewhat tenuous for a while. They also sit their confused while you try to explain things to them. I guess the good news is that they don’t roll their eyes.  Anyway, while I have developed a lot of patience with my children, the only dogs I ever really liked are served at baseball games with chopped onions and ketchup.

5 Easy Step To Finding A Religion

1) The key to finding the right religion is finding the right God. Luckily, it’s not a matter of inventing a God because the divine essense exists in many forms. However, you should probably pick a self-confident God whose P.R. campaign doesn’t include grilled cheese sandwiches on E-bay. Gods that tacitly prove their existence with mountain ranges and sunset are your best bet.

2) Don’t worry about who has the most documentation or that has been around the longest. Religions that have little to no documentation aren’t necessarily invalid. History shows that if you ostracize,torture and kill those who practice non-mainstream faiths; subsquently, those religions tend to have less future adherents.

3) Avoid religions that have too much ‘middle management.’ There’s nothing wrong with having structure, or even a hierarchy. However, some middle management styles involve interceding on issues well outside their control. As a rule, people wearing expensive suits with bad comb-overs tend to have their own agendas. Gods, as a whole, have a tendency to be omniscient and omnipotent, so if they have to get a message to you; they shouldn’t have much of a problem doing so directly.

4) Rituals can provide meaning in any religion, as well as strengthen faith. Supplementing those rituals with nice outfits and ritual tools is a nice touch. However, these rituals should  have meaning to you personally. Here’s a little spiritual tip. When practicing transubstantiation, don’t worry about counting calories. Live a little.

5) Choose a religion with a healthy ‘big picture’ focus. Providing food and clothing to the homeless is fine. Working to become a better person is good too. Examples of not-so-good ideas include supporting the marriages of 14 year olds to perverted old men, pointing full automatic weapons at Federal agents or flying your congregation to Guyana to separate them from family members. 

Jerry Falwell died this week

  While it’s taboo to speak ill of the dead, I can’t help but wonder what the afterlife has in store for Rev. Jerry Falwell.

   I am not sure the legacy of the Moral Majority. The fact that it doesn’t appear to be around today says a lot, I suppose. However, Jerry Falwell had made public comments about how the teletubby, Tinky Winky was some icon for homosexuals. Rev. Falwell also made comments about how Pagans, lesbians, et al were responsible for ‘God pointing His finger at us’ with Sept. 11th.

  Recently, I have heard that Tammy Faye Messner (formerly Bakker) has stopped her lung cancer treatments and is near death as well. I would also be curious to see what would transpire between her and the Creator/Creatrix regarding the PTL scandal.

5 Easy Steps To Understanding The Universe

1) Even if you don’t believe in a divine being, being able to appreciate the circumstances needed to bring about life and the planet it came with is still very important. Seeing yourself as a small (but important) part of something bigger gives you a perspective. Religion is a choice to have a relationship with that force. Rituals and prayer are just how we interact with the divine force. Faith is the belief that

2) There are all sorts of forces on the planet and laws that everyone has to follow. Your choices are to passively react to them, ignore them, learn to work with them (or around them) or pretend that you have complete control over them. The forces themselves are not good or bad, but what they’re used for. If you don’t respect the power of those forces, there are consequences. If you believe you have complete control over everything, please reread #1. Science and religion are not in conflict with each other; they are just different ways to quantify the world around us.

3)  We each give value to what we think is important. Even in groups, value can be assigned to any object/behavior/trait. Just as it is up to us to decide what has value; it’s also up to us to make sure what we emphasize is really worth it. We just need to make sure that when the dust settles, it’s really something we want to be left with.

4) The world is full of patterns and the answers for things we don’t know lie in those things that we do know. Being able to recognize patterns can help us learn new ways. Recognizing that learning is a process and not a destination is important too.

5) The purpose in life is to discover our own purpose. It is up to us to determine how meaningful we want that purpose to be. If you want to rule the world, go for it. If you only want to take up space in line at Wal*Mart, that’s your choice too. Everything comes down to our choices. Any choice we make also tends to have an effect, even slight, to those around us.