The government has completed a fact-finding mission to determine who is responsible for the damage caused by Katrina. They concluded that there is one source for all of our nations problems: Alligators
Here’s what we know:
– Alligators are not represented in Congress, nor are they pictured on our currency
– Alligators are green, along with Kermit the Frog; yet there are no alligators on Sesame Street
– Gator, a common piece of spyware, is hated by millions of people. This hatred naturally extends to alligators.
– That guy on Discovery Channel who says CRIKEY a lot is often featured wrestling alligators
– Most alligators cannot reach the McDonald’s drive-through window to get coffee (which they happen to like)
– 1% of all alligators fall under the poverty level, while 50% are made into cowboy boots and wallets- P.E.T.A. is remarkably silent when it comes to fighting for alligator rights.
– Award-winning films like “The Bridges of Madison County” make absolutely no reference to alligators.
Angry alligators have retaliated for their conditions and have struck back.
We really should have seen it coming.
The government’s response is that while they are all congratulating each other, they are going to create a new government division: The Department of Homeland Alligator Security.
That should take care of the problem……of course, it means they are going to throw lots of money at it. When they get done, the government’s gonna have more layers than an onion.