An Introduction to Halloween Costumes that suck

This year, inspired by a Google search for costume ideas, I decided to be a pizza slice. Rather than dip into the household budget, I chose to make my own. An artistic guy like me should be able to put together something, right? Well, the issue was not the creation but how it looked after it was made.

Deciding on the right materials to create the costume is paramount. Making something look like what you want is not the real issue. Some costumes are stunningly spectacular to view, but the wearer of some of these attention-gathering outfits sometimes forget to think of functionality. Comfortability and portability are sometimes sacrificed to make such bold statements. I was not going to get trapped into wearing something that added time to the restroom process or hindered my ability to move through crowds. Cardboard seemed to be the way to go. I even took the time to make the costume shoulder-width to allow for ease of movement. The length of the cardboard pizza slice also conveniently bent at the waist, and allowed me to consume beverages without assistance. Everything was looking great….until showtime. In this case, show time was a costume party at a local drinking establishment.

All eyes were upon my entrance as I pushed my way through the orange and black streamers in the doorway. That is, until, my wife stepped into the room. I suppose a man wearing a piece of painted cardboard can’t hold a crowd’s attention for a more than a few seconds anyway. I am also guessing that it didn’t help that my wife’s She Devil costume was breathtakingly beautiful. The several weeks of planning and fabricating she did on her costume really paid off. It was remarkable, which made my cardboard costume cry out to steady a wobbly table rather than be worn. Oh well.

The evening came to a close and I was able to retire this cardboard Hindenburg to nevermore irritate the eyes of those around me. My only question would be to ask if November 1st is too early to plan for next years costume.

-sj

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One response to “An Introduction to Halloween Costumes that suck

  1. Never try to go up againt a women who is wearing a sexy costume as you will not get noticed, well there is one way, go to a gay fancy dress then trust me it will be you with all the attention

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