Things Scott McClellan probably wouldn’t say about the Dick Cheney Hunting accident

“Mister Whittington has been declared an “enemy combatant,” so everything’s o.k. now. He’s being isolated from his lawyers as we speak.”

“Harry is doing much better. Even in intensive care, he said that hunting with Dick is still a blast.”

“The only reason we waited 22 hours is because the press found out what had happened from the owner of the hunting property, and we couldn’t hide it any longer.”

“Taking all those heart medications really clouds Mr. Cheney’s judgement sometimes.”

“Dick Cheney admits to taking the shot, and promises that an investigation into how and why it happened. He also promises not to neglect the findings of that committee until well after the group releases it report.”

“Dick admits to being on-edge about this Valerie Plame thing and the possibility of losing his office.”

“After spending all day watching a Barney Fife movie marathon, Mr. Cheney wanted to see if they put real bullets in HIS gun.”

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