Top 10 Excuses Isaac Mizrahi gave for groping Scarlett Johansson

fashion designer Isaac Mizrahi cops a feel during the 63rd Annual Golden Globe Awards.

10) “The PATRIOT ACT authorizes me to conduct searches. Unfortunately, the document I have as proof of that is classified.”

9) “Since I am not eligible to win a Golden Globe, I decided to grab a different globe.”

8) “I was feeling light-headed, and was about to pass out. I grabbed the closest thing I could so I wouldn’t fall.”

7) “I was reaching out to make sure she wasn’t in my personal space, and I must have been too close.”

6) “Someone said she has smuggled a recording device in her dress, and you know how picky the RIAA can be with copywrites and stuff.”

5) “You have heard of the Wonder Bra?!? I was just testing out that latest in boob support technology: the Wonder Hand!! (as in I WONDER if she will press charges)

4) “After seeing her, I wanted to hold more than a press conference.”

3) “Being a nature lover, I wanted to release them from captivity and let them back in the wild.”

2) “Those freaks at http://www.IfeltupScarlettJohansson.com said they would pay me $1,000 if I did that.”

1) “I really wanted her autograph, and since I didn’t have my pen on me. I checked to see if SHE had one.”

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