It’s been awhile since I bashed Jennifer Aniston

I saw a cover of a fairly recent copy of People Magazine that had her picture with the caption “How’s Jen Coping?” People Magazine, of course, is the journalistic quality bar that all other periodicals should measure themselves by. I get all tingly inside, just knowing that at least one magazine has its finger of the important issues like whether or not Jen’s coping, or whether or not Angelina Jolie’s adopted kids are pooping on the potty. I think it is only a matter of time before we ask the even harder questions like how are Jen’s PETS coping, and what brand of TP do the Jolies have in their household.

The latest news fodder includes Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, and the pitter-patter of Thetan feet that will soon be heard in their household. I still can’t believe that People Magazine hasn’t brought in the “What does Jen think” angle about Tom, Katies, Thetans, Xenu, and silent birthing. The story could the easily segue into the meaningful core issues to all People Magazine fans like what laundry detergent she bought this week, or a photo-op of Jen crossing the lobby of the local Taco Bell. Did she finish her meal? What could that possibly mean? Does she hate the environment because she threw out two perfectly good, unused mild sauce packets?

Not only do enquiring minds need to know, they also need to be beaten.

-sj

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