Several players in the MLSA have tested positive for ‘playing baseball.’ The MLSA Commissioner is considering strong sanctions and fines against players who have besmirched the wholesomeness of taking steroids by playing America’s national pastime.
Undercover agents, posing as free agents, were drafted into the Major League Steroid Association to investigate whether or not any of them have been playing baseball. There had been rumors at the MLSA dinner parties, brimming with anabolic steroids, human growth hormone, ephedra, and a whole host of other chemical enhancements had also had members trying to play baseball. In the latest seizure, approximately 1,000 pounds of baseballs, bats, gloves, and other baseball paraphernalia was collected. The authorities were pleased to get these “filthy, drug-using freaks off the streets” so innocent fans of baseball could enjoy the sport as it was intended to be played.
Phone calls to get a statement from the MLSA Commissioner went unanswered.