Inspired by a post Jen had over at Casual Slack, I came up with our new policy for the Middle East.
The SPINACH FOR GUNS program would budget for spinach bars to be put up all over the sections of the Middle East that hostilities have been breaking out.
Why do I think this will work?
1) It will help bail out the spinach market here. Hey, they were going to throw it out anyway, right?
2) If anti-Americanism is going to happen anyway, we might as well give a place for all the “haters” to hang.
3) You can’t carry a gun, strap a bomb to yourself, or plan a terrorist attack if you are spending the day on the pot, can you? You are also not likely to be enriching Uranium either.
4) Although E. Coli can kill you, it’s not like the death rate is going to be any higher than it is now. With all that drive for revenge, they could end up battling something really worthwhile….like germs.
5) The drug companies will have a new market to sell their drugs. Bigger volume means deeper discounts. Besides, if they really want to hate us; let’s share our health care system with them and really clinch the deal.
6) I am not serious. This is sarcasm, born of frustration with the whole situation. Death is serious, and losing loved ones is very difficult. It is incomprehensible that violence can last thousands of years, and no one with a loud enough voice to say that it has to end somewhere.