Hair care products: helpful chemicals or relationship diagnostic tool

I had a stray thought at work today (I mean, again). This time I thought about the relationship between a person and hair care products. All of it. The gels, the sprays, the goop, the creams, the pastes,the shampoos, the conditioners, the combs & brushes, the hair dryer. Everything.

Now, I am sure everyone knows people who can’t spend less than 2 hours with primping and prepping to get ready to go out for the evening. Everyone seems to have a ritual for that. However, for some, it is not the products but the ritual itself that makes it a pattern for them. Unfortunately, traveling across the country or even to run to the local deli, some feel the need to goop up. This is where my theory comes into play. The more focussed on the products, the more likely they are to be high-maintenance.

High-maintenance, in anything from relationships to people, is not a good sign. If someone has to put on that many chemicals, something is up. Being concerned about appearance can be completely natural. In fact, paying some attention to something as important as personal hygiene is great. Some people can ‘clean up real good.’ Fighting tooth-and-nail to fight things like messed up hair could lead to other pointless fights like that with gravity or aging. Plastic surgery, other than for health reasons, is high-maintenance at its finest. Anyone who has seen Lisa Rinna’s lips, Kenny Roger’s eyes, Joan River’s face, or Cher can get a glimpse of the bizarre and ugly reality.

My advice, going out mainly to the guys, is this: pick a woman you find attractive and take her on a date. When you get home, say you need to use her bathroom. Once there, check out all of the hair care products she has there (I wouldn’t try to scope out products in her bedroom, although hair care products have been known to congregate there, too). The rule of thumb is if you can’t pick all of the products up with two hands, politely excuse yourself and run away.

-sj

p.s. This theory, seeing as it received no funding, nor did it involve any form of actual research; you might take this into consideration when taking this theory to heart.

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