Inspired by Babs over at How To Go Insane…..a list I wanted to add to…
1. Paying attention in science class could come in handy when trying to figure out how to kill zombies. Here’s where making fun of nerds could also work against you.
2. When running from zombies, try using a shoe with a sensible heel. Sneakers are the time-tested favorite here. Heels, while sexy, just make you zombie bait. Function, rather than comfortability, are what you should be looking for in a zombie-avoidance shoe.
3. Zombies don’t make good employees. They do not have fine motor skill development and tend to eat coworkers.
4. You might want to own a machete.
5. Pay close attention to the soundtrack. When you hear scary music, avoid taking a shower..isolating yourself from peers…getting naked…or trying on high heels.
6. Understanding what fuels zombie hatred could help you defeat them. Tell them you voted for Bush in the last election and they should leave you alone.
7. When running away from a zombie, you’re more likely to escape if you don’t stop every 3 steps to turn around to see if they are still following you. Trust me, they are. They are zombies. It’s not like they have to dentist appointments.
8. There is really anything like crucifixes to hold zombies at bay. Torches won’t work if you are completely surrounded, and it’s not like you tell them to go home at wait for the cable guy because he will be there between 1 – 5 pm.
9. Zombies are usually pretty stupid. If you call them at home and ask them if their refrigerator is running, they usually fall for it.
10. If you are suddenly surrounded by zombies, ask yourself “is this real or am I in a movie with Adrienne Barbeau?”
11. On the off-chance that you do become a zombie, see if the undead have a cable channel that offers brain recipes presented by the undead version of Rachel Ray. If not, there is already reality television to keep your zombie brain busy.