Do-it-yourself Homeland Security

  Well, in the spirit of the Thanksgiving holiday; We packed up the minivan and traveled to my hometown. Being statistically different (on many levels) than other people, I am part of the 50% of the people who live beyond 50 miles from where they were born. It’s more like 300 miles.

  I had seen reports on the news about traffic congestion, both on the ground and in the air. Even though I wasn’t flying nor was I going to take any major highways; I somehow knew my family would be delayed. It turns out I was right.

   We had the van all packed up Wednesday before Thanksgiving, in hopes of departing at 4:00 am the next morning.  We actually didn’t get on the road until 5:0o a.m. In accordance with Department of Homeland Security guidelines, I had to have my family members all get thoroughly screened before entering our minivan. They had to be searched, which ended up costing us a great deal of time because my 3 year old daughter, not only didn’t have a passport; she also had a juice cup which violated the NO LIQUID policy for travelling.  While looking for nail files, scissors, and other sharp objects; I did find some Rice Krispie treats that had a rather pointy edge to them. I was forced to confiscate them and eat them, if only for my family’s protection.

     Other than that, it was a pretty decent holiday visit and trip. I was just glad to do my part in perpetuating this security nonsense to the Nth degree.  Remember, if we don’t drive ourselves nutty with bureaucracy; the terrorists will have won.



2 responses to “Do-it-yourself Homeland Security

  1. Nice takeoff on the Homeland Security restrictions!

  2. Were all carry-on items in clear 1 quart ziploc bags? Hmmm… rice krispies! I haven’t had those in ages!

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