More Genuine Fake Celebrity News!

 Because the first installment seemed to be fairly popular, I thought I’d add another round. Thank you for everyone who gave me feedback. I appreciate the comments and the e-mails…

         In Los Angeles, Judges are contemplating Paris Hilton legal fate as a result of being arrested Feb. 28th for misdemeanor driving under suspension. Because she was already on probation, driving under suspension means potential jail time. This monumental ruling could make it look like someone famous is actually held accountable. While most honest, hardworking Americans face stiff fines, incarceration, and even the death penalty from everything from toking on a doobie to traffic violations and overdue library books; society has seen fit to give celebs the choice between a handslap or community service composed exclusively of signing autographs.

  What also makes Paris Hilton’s potential carceration much more serious is that the local prison will have to create a special jail cell at taxpayer’s expense. Because of her skeletal frame, Wardens say she’d be able to walk between the bars in a regular cell. While the State Of California would save money because of Paris’ non-existent diet, other financial concerns include the press may intentially break laws in hopes of being incarcerated next to her, as to not miss any of her antics. Television producers are also sweating out the next few weeks because the show THE SIMPLE LIFE, starring Ms. Hilton could be disrupted by her being in the hoosegow. However, they may still be able to keep the show alive as reports of Nicole Ritchie may face jail time because of her legal issues, too. The same television producers are seeing if they can be placed in the same lock-up so they can continue the series, only calling it THE HARD LIFE instead. They also take some reassurance in that thought because of all the money they’d save with their warddrobe budget. Grey jumpsuits make things really simple.

   When recent news headlines read that Hicks would be facing 7 years jail time, most Americans felt a sense of disappointment after finding out it was some guy name Chris who’s at Guantanamo Bay instead of Taylor who was last year’s American Idol winner. Recent polls show mixed results as to which should be punished. Torn between aligning with Al-Quieda and singing those annoying car commercials; Americans slightly favor jailing Taylor Hicks  instead.


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