Observations of a 4 year old birthday party

    My daughter celebrated her 4 years on the planet. During all the festivities, I made note of several little events I felt compelled to comment on here.

    I think one of the most annoying things I have experienced, even before becoming a parent, is watching other parents leave their children to fend for themselves at public functions. As soon as they arrive, the parent and child go their separate ways. I am not sure if this is a misinterpretation of “it takes a village” or what. Having been a camp counselor, I instantly feel I have to keep a watchful eye on the child. I find it hardly coincidental that the parent capable of this is oftentimes paired with what we in the childcare field referred to as “demon spawn.”  While most children have a natural appeal, these beings evoke no calming emotion. Luckily, the party only lasted 2 hours. I did quietly smile to myself watching these kids putting away soda in college beer bong proportions.  It’s almost like karma in disaccharide form.

     Other than that, I reaffirm my hatred of Bratz toys. The good news is that the toy gods were smiling upon us because there was only one this time. I find it really hard to celebrate inner-city attitude venerated as if it were culture. Bling is merely the substitution for the phrase “fascinated by shiny objects.” Even the frickin’ name emphasizes illiteracy…..


5 responses to “Observations of a 4 year old birthday party

  1. We just had my son’s 11th birthday today. As I read your post I am reminded of his 4th birthday in which a parent from the preschool left her two children with me 5 and 2 and we never met! I have even put on invitations that parents are encouraged to stay for saftey and still don’t get a good response. I have noticed that people that are most apt to leave their child are people you don’t know. I don’t understand. Would people be so willing to hand their keys to their car to a stranger but yet they leave their children for me to keep safe (all 15 of them).

    Despite this, we had a great time at our party. I have a good group of people that stay now and the kids had fun in the rain shower that came with the party today.

  2. My idiot cousin allowed her feral 4 year old to run around like an animal at my wedding.

    He licked my wedding cake. Licked it.
    I didn’t know it at the time but the manager of the venue asked her to leave and take her child with her.

    Parents who stand by laughing and having a good time, ignoring their ill-behaved children are in deep denial.

    It’s the clever parents who are aware their kids are intolerable who take off.

  3. realworldmartha,
    My wife and I have hosted parties where children have been left in our (surprise) care. I have also seen the phenom happen at other friends’ parties. Unimaginable.

    Of all places for feral children to not hang out, weddings are…or should be…the biggest no-no. Oh, if anyone would have described the cake licking incident as “cute,” I believe Michigan law wouldn’t hold you accountable for smacking the person that said it. I’d still check with a lawyer on that one to be sure.

  4. I remember working a wedding one time when I couldn’t put a tray full of a table’s dinners down on my tray jack because someone’s child had turned it into their own makeshift rocket-ship. I am in the background of several pictures taken during this time pleading with the kid to go to his seat while the parents are busy laughing and taking snapshots.

    Also while working in the hotel’s bar at times I have had to ask unaccompanied children where their parents were. On 5 occasions I have been told that they had left the hotel (to either pick up someone or go out to eat)!

  5. Awesome Post. My compliments to the author.

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