Category Archives: Celebrities

Looks like it’s going to be a Dana Delaney moment

    Not that I watch that Desperate Housewives show, but I saw the trailer of the latest celeb to join the cast. It was Dana Delaney.

     For those of you who remember, Ms. Delaney was in shows like China Beach (never saw it), some Steve Martin film with Goldie Hawn (regretted seeing it) and East Of Eden (the serious Anne Rice book that was made into a comedy because the director didn’t think the public could handle the real storyline) which I refused to see.

     She does have some visual appeal, although her acting skills aren’t necessarily top shelf. I went through a Dana Delaney phase many years ago. I was after my Natassja Kinski and Molly Ringwald phase, but before my Claudia Schiffer phase. Natassja and Molly fell off the face of the Earth. Claudia traded in her normal skin tone for a lifeless looking white skin. She has either turned into a friendly ghost (see Casper) or is a member of the walking undead.

  If anyone would like to join in on the Dana Delaney moment, please feel free to Google yourself some pics. Post comments with links if you find good ones.

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10 people I’d like to have coffee with

10) Steve Martin – Author, Comedian, Actor – His book Cruel Shoes will be talked about for year.

9)  Martin Gore – member of Depeche Mode, wrote most of the music for them

8 ) Adriana Lima – supermodel and keeper of the feijoada

7) Kate Beckinsale – actress with a remarkable ability to battle vampires and lycanthropes

6) Billy Joel – musician who writes good schtuff. When describing Christina Aguilera, was quoted to have said “pick a note and sit on it.”

5) Ludwig Van Beethoven – classical musician. The dude wrote Moonlight Sonata. ‘Nuff said.

4) The person who invented coffee

3) Maybe Kari Byron…..maybe not

2) The guy who invented ironing

1) The guy who invented necktie

   We would all consume a relaxing cup of coffee or two, then proceed to beat the guys who invented neckties and ironing to unconsciousness. We would then resume coffee drinking and light conversation.

Should Kari Byron be the next president?

Combining the need for a viable candidate with a very popular search term that brings people to my blog; I am asking my blog readers to offer their thoughts on whether or not we should vote for Kari in 2008.

First, let me explain that I do not know Ms. Byron. I am simply exploring the political waters for her.

With that said, let’s do some comparing to the other candidates to see how she stacks up.

Hillary Clinton – wears sensible shoes
Kari Byron – wears Chuck Taylors

Hillary Clinton – is both for and against the war
Kari Byron – blows things up in parking lots

Hillary Clinton – has been investigated for questionable dealings
Kari Byron – conducts investigations on Mythbusters

Hillary Clinton – may or may not live in New York to satisfy campaign law
Kari Byron – lives in California.

Barack Obama – has no political experience
Kari Byron – has no political experience

Dennis Kucinich – former mayor of Cleveland, OH
Kari Byron – people have heard of her

Rudy Guiliani – former mayor of New York City
Kari Byron – spent one episode wearing silver body paint

To me, the choice is clear. Although her background is in the fine arts, she seems to have a solid appreciation and grasp of science. She doesn’t have any political experience, but incumbency has already proven to be useless at this point. She seems fairly articulate and already has a fairly large base of fans. The fact that she spends energy getting to the bottom of information and actually CARES what the findings are is important.

However, it is possible that the cheesecaky FHM photo shoot might be held against her. I am guessing that Hillary Clinton might try to use that against Kari, seeing as Hillary couldn’t pull off the naughty lab tech look.

Hey, it could still happen. The only other presidential candidate choices based on search terms that get people to my site include spyware removal, Angel Boris, and girls with long tongues.

So, if not Kari Byron; should girls with long tongues be the next president?  We’ll just have to see what the voters have in store for us, I guess.

The New 7 Wonders Of The World (per People Magazine)

     I managed to get a copy of a poll taken by People Magazine who recently asked it’s readers what the new 7 Wonders Of The World should be. Here is the list! Look for it next month.

1) Paris Hilton

2) Lindsay Lohan

3) Nicole Ritchie

4) Summer Salads at McDonald’s

5) Cable Television

Please reach out to those filling out the People Magazine poll. Their researchers had difficulty finding people subscribed to their magazine who could count to seven.

I think Sheryl Crow vandalized my yard last night

 I found ONE SQUARE of toilet paper in my front yard. The getaway bus, because it burns vegetable oil, also left a tell-tale scent of cooked popcorn. I guess eco-warriors don’t make very good vandals.  

The other good news is that I cleaned up the toilet paper before it rained.

Hey kids, it’s Genuine Fake News Time again!

   Noticing that people have stopped paying attention to him, Michael Moore is jumping up and down in front of any news camera he can find. Once again, his whining voice is being pumped through your television speakers everywhere, disguising his own attention-seeking behavior as outrage for his cause in the form of a screenplay. The timing of this production is remarkable. Not so much for the recent concern for our failing health care system, but with the record high temperatures it gives audiences a plausible excuse to sit in the air-conditioned theatres while it runs.

   In other news, Condi Rice was seen expressing what appears to have been an emotion. However, insiders in the Bush Administration say that it was simply dust kicked up from Air Force One causing her eyes to be irritated….much like the Administration’s constituency. After hearing about Condi Rice’s plight, George W. Bush promptly issued an order for $40 billion dollars be immediately set aside for Get Well Party for her to speed her recovery. Rumor has it that Alberto Gonzales’ band, Death & The Organ Failures, will be playing at the political blow out. Not only will their be celebrities present, the Los Angeles Prison system will be letting Paris Hilton out of prison again so she can attend.

    Inspired by the recent celebutants incarceration, The Bradford Exchange will be minting a limited addition commemorative plate series of Paris Hilton to raise funds for awareness that our legal system is getting hosed by rich people. Scenes featured on the plates include Paris wrapping her sportcar around a tree, a storage unit that she once owned, and a warehouse full of Valtrex. Order now and an angry taxpayer will show up at your door and beat you for feeding the paparazzic frenzy around this malnourished, ill-behaved freakshow.

     

I was going to have another Kristanna Loken moment, but….

did a little Googling for another picture and realized TOO MANY PEOPLE are having Kristanna Loken moments.

Forgive the temporary pause while I consider the moment here. Like standing in front of an open refrigerator door, deciding on the next meal….I stand…err..uh…sit undecided.

It’s not really a Kari Byron moment. It’s not a Evangeline Lilly moment. I don’t think it’s a Shania Twain moment.

Let’s see. We can rule out Ruth Buzzi moments, Geena Davis moments, and definitely rule out any Julia Louis Dreyfus moments. When I was younger, I used to have Natassja Kinski moments…and the occasionally Terri Nunn moments.

Hmmmm. I think I am somewhere between a Kate Beckinsale moment with a possible hint of Charlotte Church moment.