10 things I learned while camping at Parker Dam

1) Clearfield, PA is a lot smaller than I thought it would be.

2) If Jeff Foxworthy ever runs low on material, a visit to Clearfield, PA would clear that up quickly.

3) Scotto’s Pizza in downtown Clearfield, PA has some decent pizza.

4) Some squirrels and chipmunks can be pretty bold when it comes to looking for handouts.

5) Getting to know your neighbors camping can lead them to believe that you automatically will watch their children.

6) Drinking coffee near a campfire is a must-have experience (even if you don’t drink coffee….or like campfires).

7) I still can’t believe there are people out there who will burn plastic and metal cans in a campfire. Smokey The Bear should go Chuck Norris on their butts.

8 ) You can hear some strange noises coming out of the woods at night. Somehow, watching too many low budget horror films that involve camping and having an active imagination doesn’t help either.

9) I was able to get my Larry The Cable Guy costume for Halloween. A flannel shirt & camo baseball cap cost $11 bucks.

10) People in Clearfield, PA will look at you weird if you try to pronounce Dubois (doo-BOYS) as it is pronounced in French (doo-BWAH). Of course, not wearing a black concert shirt in Clearfield will get you strange looks too.

I will be at Parker Dam State Park…..

   for a long weekend for camping. I will taking a brief respite from posting for several days.

Blather Rinse Repeat speaks out against Hilary Clinton

Ms. Clinton’s voting record – taken from the site below.


  •  Voted for Iraq war based on available info; now would not. (Apr 2007)
  • Critic of Iraq war, but won’t recant 2002 vote in its favor. (Nov 2006)
  • Regrets Bush’s handling of war, but not her war vote. (Oct 2006)
  • Voted YES on redeploying US troops out of Iraq by March 2008. (Mar 2007)
  • Voted NO on redeploying troops out of Iraq by July 2007. (Jun 2006)
  • Voted YES on investigating contract awards in Iraq & Afghanistan. (Nov 2005)
  • Voted YES on requiring on-budget funding for Iraq, not emergency funding. (Apr 2005)
  • Voted YES on $86 billion for military operations in Iraq & Afghanistan. (Oct 2003)
  • Voted YES on authorizing use of military force against Iraq. (Oct 2002)
  • Condemns anti-Muslim bigotry in name of anti-terrorism. (Oct 2001)

  • I am not a professional chef, but I am pretty sure that I smell some serious waffle-age.

    Bad Parent Magazine polls results are in: Chuck E. Cheese voted #1

          Bad Parent Magazine, a resource for couples whose feel responsibility for children ends at conception, has voted Chuck E. Cheese the best place to watch their offspring.

          “Whenever there’s a birthday party there, I know that they got plenty a people there to watch my kid while I am at home relaxin’,”  states Brian Johnson – father of 7.  He went onto explain that he was there for what he thinks was a birthday party for one of his children’s classmates. He’s not sure he has the right day, but that didn’t seem to matter. Mr. Johnson sometimes uses Chuck E. Cheese as a free day care.

        “It’s perfect for me, ‘cus you don’t gotta register no one. They don’t ask for emergency contact numbers. You don’t have to worry if your kid is sick or not. They are open almost all the time and you can drop them off whenever,” Mr. Johnson explains.

       Reggie Wallace, shift manager at Chuck E. Cheese, expresses concern with the practice but appreciates the business.

        “I am lucky that most of my employees have enough interest to show up. The ones that do decide to show up for their shifts will get that all-important babysitting experience,” Mr. Wallace continued. “I don’t know if I would want my kids to be raised by my employees, but I am glad we can provide this important service for the public. We take really good care of the kids. Most of them buy tokens by the bucket and we just keep the bottomless soda coming.”

        The dark side to this impromptu day care situation is that the police continue to get called to the premises. Reports of harrassment of other customers, physical threats and some elementary school-level gang activity have made this a potentially risky spot for those children who treat the establishment as it was originally intended.

       The survey taken by Bad Parent Magazine found that Chuck E. Cheese was the best place to drop children off at. This was followed by – in order of ranking – family reunions, bowling alleys, laser tag arenas/roller skating rinks, zoos, amusement parks, bus stations, crack dens and supermarkets.  98% of all bad parents survey felt that it was “somebody else’s fault” when it comes to their own childrens’ atrocious behavior. When given a choice between holding their child accountable or taking someone else to court when their children got into trouble, 99% chose litigation.

            It is also interesting to point out that 75% of these parents felt that their children’s meals should consist of the 4 main food groups: sugar, fat, fillers & preservatives. The remaining 25% of the parents were vaguely aware there were other little people in the house and had noticed some food was missing. All of bad parents surveyed felt that toys from China were an excellent source of lead and very educational when it comes to teaching their children about the Periodic table.

         A popular alternative day care choice among bad parents also included R-rated films that feature adult content, graphic violence and sexually suggestive language. These parents also found television programming on The WB and Fox network that featured elementary school age children with libidos was “effin’ hilarious.” 89% of the parents surveyed also felt it was not the school’s job to teach their children the “birds and bees.”  100% believed that it wasn’t their job and think that they’ll figure out one way or another.

    Looks like it’s going to be a Dana Delaney moment

        Not that I watch that Desperate Housewives show, but I saw the trailer of the latest celeb to join the cast. It was Dana Delaney.

         For those of you who remember, Ms. Delaney was in shows like China Beach (never saw it), some Steve Martin film with Goldie Hawn (regretted seeing it) and East Of Eden (the serious Anne Rice book that was made into a comedy because the director didn’t think the public could handle the real storyline) which I refused to see.

         She does have some visual appeal, although her acting skills aren’t necessarily top shelf. I went through a Dana Delaney phase many years ago. I was after my Natassja Kinski and Molly Ringwald phase, but before my Claudia Schiffer phase. Natassja and Molly fell off the face of the Earth. Claudia traded in her normal skin tone for a lifeless looking white skin. She has either turned into a friendly ghost (see Casper) or is a member of the walking undead.

      If anyone would like to join in on the Dana Delaney moment, please feel free to Google yourself some pics. Post comments with links if you find good ones.

    A stray thought about Myanmar

      Here we have a country run by a small group of military generals that are trying to control hundreds of thousands of citizens. It makes me wonder if Alberto Gonzales is doing some outside consulting on this one.

        Seeing as the country decided to shut down the Internet access to prevent outsiders from seeing direct accounts of its army violently shutting down the protests; I’d say yes.

       I have no doubt that it’s going to get ugly, if it hasn’t already.

    9 things that bother me

    Adults who buy their children ATVs – Is this a socially acceptable way to crush your children?

    low budget hotdogs – If I am going to indulge in a meal that’s incredibly bad for me, it should at least taste good.

    The fine print – I absolutely love car commercials on tv that have the 6 point font that explain the terms of contract. Just because I can’t see the specific terms of the contract doesn’t mean I can’t trust them, right? They’re looking out for me. I know they are. 28% interest sounds fair.

    Anime – large-eyed people with narrow mouths that have the acting depth of Steven Seagal. It’s beyond annoying.

    Mahmoud Ahmadinejad – I bet the stuff he was smoking that made him think he’d be able to visit the World Trade Center site was really strong. He must have the same drug dealer as Ann Coulter.

    Lee C. Bollinger – The President of Columbia University is confusing academic freedom with being an unbalanced idiot.  It is possible to be liberal without sounding like you’ve had a lobotomy.

    Digital Rights Management – The recording industry is trying to make up for lost decades of the public trading copies of audio cassettes. It’s made them think that the individual doesn’t really own the material they buy now. They’re just borrowing it. I am all for protecting the rights of distribution, let’s say, in the crackdown of foreign countries pirating movies. I am not, however, liking being locked out of being able to convert items to other formats for my own use.

    Windows Vista – This operating system is such a resource hog that even mentioning it in front of your own computer will make the system run slower or crash. I plan on having an open source operating system on my home computer before this becomes public.

    Law breakers who try to wrap their crimes in The Constitution – Would someone please let Warren Jeffs & his followers know that sexually assaulting 14 year olds is not a constitutional right?

    10 people I’d like to have coffee with

    10) Steve Martin – Author, Comedian, Actor – His book Cruel Shoes will be talked about for year.

    9)  Martin Gore – member of Depeche Mode, wrote most of the music for them

    8 ) Adriana Lima – supermodel and keeper of the feijoada

    7) Kate Beckinsale – actress with a remarkable ability to battle vampires and lycanthropes

    6) Billy Joel – musician who writes good schtuff. When describing Christina Aguilera, was quoted to have said “pick a note and sit on it.”

    5) Ludwig Van Beethoven – classical musician. The dude wrote Moonlight Sonata. ‘Nuff said.

    4) The person who invented coffee

    3) Maybe Kari Byron…..maybe not

    2) The guy who invented ironing

    1) The guy who invented necktie

       We would all consume a relaxing cup of coffee or two, then proceed to beat the guys who invented neckties and ironing to unconsciousness. We would then resume coffee drinking and light conversation.

    Three names that are fun to say in a bad French accent

    1) Genevieve Bujold

    2) Rene Auberjonois

    3) Gerard Depardieu

    Observations of a 4 year old birthday party

        My daughter celebrated her 4 years on the planet. During all the festivities, I made note of several little events I felt compelled to comment on here.

        I think one of the most annoying things I have experienced, even before becoming a parent, is watching other parents leave their children to fend for themselves at public functions. As soon as they arrive, the parent and child go their separate ways. I am not sure if this is a misinterpretation of “it takes a village” or what. Having been a camp counselor, I instantly feel I have to keep a watchful eye on the child. I find it hardly coincidental that the parent capable of this is oftentimes paired with what we in the childcare field referred to as “demon spawn.”  While most children have a natural appeal, these beings evoke no calming emotion. Luckily, the party only lasted 2 hours. I did quietly smile to myself watching these kids putting away soda in college beer bong proportions.  It’s almost like karma in disaccharide form.

         Other than that, I reaffirm my hatred of Bratz toys. The good news is that the toy gods were smiling upon us because there was only one this time. I find it really hard to celebrate inner-city attitude venerated as if it were culture. Bling is merely the substitution for the phrase “fascinated by shiny objects.” Even the frickin’ name emphasizes illiteracy…..